Labor of Love

Jennevieve arrived July 26th, just a day before my due date. I had been 1-2cm dilated and 60% effaced for about a good week or two. I remember everyone kept asking had I experienced any contractions (Braxton Hicks or even real contractions) unfortunately, my answer was always, “no, nothing”.

In the weeks leading up to my due date I probably psyched myself into thinking my sweet baby would arrive 2-3 weeks early to make an appearance on my husband's, her father's birthday. I worked for days on my fairytale birth plan - checking, double-checking, making sure everything was perfect and exactly how I wanted it. LOL well, Matt’s birthday came and left but we still had no baby. Every night since about the 4th of July Matt declared that was the night she would make her arrival...yeah right!

On Friday, July 24th, I began leaking but only a trickle. My first thought was "Finally my mucus plug is coming!!," within a couple of hours I began thinking "OMG!! My water is breaking."

I called my doctor and the on call doctor advised that if I thought it was my water breaking that I should go to the ER to get checked out. Well, the leak stopped so we decided that if it came back, we would go in.

The following day the leak had returned and I was beginning to get worried. We got dressed to head out to the hospital but had already prepared ourselves for the false alarm speech and began making other plans for the day.

In triage I found out my water had been broken for 24hours and I was having contractions that were coming every 5-6 minutes - I just couldn't feel them. Panic began to set in as we quickly found out we were not going back home until after delivery.

According to my birth plan FOUND BELOW, I wanted my delivery to be completely natural but because my water had been broken for so long I had to be given Pitocin to speed the process along. Once I reached about 4cm the doctor advised I was not progressing fast enough that they recommended I get an epidural just to relax my body. I agreed but wasn’t happy about it.

Several hours later, early Sunday morning, at 7cm I found out my baby was turned the wrong way and if she did not turn quickly I would find myself in the operating room having a C-Section. I remember my mom offering to pray with me - how could I possibly say no. As she began her prayer, I began a selfish prayer of my own. I prayed that everything would go as I had planned....But God had a different plan.

Before I continue, I would like to take a step back and say from the very beginning of my pregnancy I felt as though the Lord was getting ready to do a mighty work inside of me – no pun intended. I am the type of person that has to have control over everything because I like things to be done a certain way. For my wedding, I needed to have a hand in planning every single aspect; same for my baby shower and so I thought the birth of my baby.

Back to what I saying, from the beginning of my pregnancy I learned that I was no longer in charge and could not control everything like I had thought. I was not invincible. I experienced morning sickness all throughout the entire pregnancy and It. Was. The. WORST! There were many days I found myself asking whyyy.

(Back to the delivery room at around 7:30am) As I was being prepared to be wheeled down the hall to the OR the tears were almost uncontrollable. (I still get very emotional thinking about it). I began another prayer but this time I began with, “Lord, you have my attention and I understand.” It was clear to me that I was in control of nothing; although I have said it many times before it wasn’t until this moment it became crystal clear.

On Sunday, July 26 at 8:13am my angel, Jennevieve Giselle, was born via cesarean weighing 7lbs 9oz and as perfect as can be. Hearing her first cry gave me life. She was everything.

Being transparent as I can be, I will say nothing about the delivery went as I had planned. If you were to describe my birthing situation to me several months ago I would have responded, “what a disaster.” Due to having a C-Section and high blood pressure I had to stay in the hospital 4 very long days. The greatest experience ever is the only way I know how to describe it all. It was not what I wanted, but it was everything I needed.

Because everything was happening so fast in my life (wedding, graduation, moving, baby) I believe God had it that way and made me be still so that I could be in the moment.

Nothing happened “by chance” everything was exactly the way it needed to be and through it all I learned and gained so much. Becoming a mother is the greatest gift on earth and I'm enjoying the "present." #Grateful